Back in the day..

Everyday life brings you something new. Rather it be a new problem or drama, a lot of people can relate to that. Without it, it wouldn't be life. Every day is a different problem for all of us regardless of what it is. Today I was thinking of when I was a little kid, I had no care or problem in the world. I had nothing going on for me. I didn't even like girls then. Now I look at myself and I have to deal with these emotions with girls along with everyday life being 21. It's crazy how time flies. Even when I was young and I had all those surgeries and was struggling with cancer, I still went on my way, because I didn't understand any other way to live it. Even with school, you never had to worry about financial aid and when you had to pay them, all you had to worry about was what time recesses was in elementary was and what sport you were going to play on the playground. Life changes in the instant, every day, every age but we have to know how to deal with it and just roll with it. Yes, I really do miss my life back in the day I had some fun times with my playground friends, but it doesn't mean life is over. It just means the more you get older the more you learn, the more responsibilities you get in life. I learned a lot at an early age because of what I went through and still have a way to go but whatever the future holds for me I know it's bright, and I have a lot of people supporting me along the way. So although I miss the old days I have to remember it's a part of growing up.

Sincerely yours....

Back To Basics: Back of Hiatus

It has been awhile since I wrote on here. According to my blog i haven't written on here since March 9nth. A lot has gone on, that just separated me from writing me for a while. Sometimes they say writing soothes the brain, but not in some cases. I am a different type of person, if I feel something, or some type of way I don't really want to bring it out because sometimes certain people don't want to hear it, so I hold back. But with everything going on right now, I want to go back to writing every day. I love it, it's what makes me grow as a person and as a writer. The things that have been going on with me is basically everyday things. I have four more months left until I am headed back to school, and for the most part I can't wait. Right now I am in the preparing stages of school which is going and getting financial aid out the way, and getting my school id. But in reality, seeing the kids walk on campus, it makes you miss it. The year I was going to school in Philly, I would always nag about coming home, now I just want to go to school and learn until the lights in the school turn dim. It has only been two months into my semester off and I have been dreading to open a school book. I guess in a way I am weird that I miss school, but it's the way I am, I love school, I am immune to it. when it comes to school, it is my sanctuary away from the drama, and everything going on. The same girl I talked about in a few of my blogs, she's still in the picture, and regardless of what happens, my mind won’t let her get out the picture any time soon. I spent time with her Thursday, and it was one of the best times I've had in a while with someone. To say she is one of the greatest girls I have met up to this point? yeah she is one of them. Just her being in my presents has made me happy and talking to her and I wouldn't trade it for the world, every moment I cherish it with her because I feel like god gave me an angel after the destruction of me and my ex and I thank him for that. I have no clue where we will go from here or where it will end up I am just enjoying every moment I can instead of letting jealousy overtake me, because that’s only going to make me lose her and that’s something I wouldn't want. I am glad though that god has blessed me with such an angel though he has made me believe in miracles by doing that. Other than that, I have been working on a game project for android applications. But that is too much information I gave you too much information than I should have, thank you for listening, Until tomorrow...

Sincerely Yours..

life goes on..

You ever feel that all eyes are on you and that everyone wants to know you? just because of your accomplishments? and how you feel like you did something right for once, and how you always feel like the whole world was against you at one point and now you feel loved at that point and given time? that’s how I feel most times. if you take a look back at one of my blogs, one of my accomplishment’s I said was winning my U.S. gold medal in Wisconsin. It wasn’t, just because I won it, it was because everyone appreciated me. When I looked up today, I looked at that medal, and random memories of that trip just started to pop in my head. I miss how everyone came up to me on the street and just thanked me in Wisconsin for a hell of a basketball game, and how "i deserved to win the gold medal in the first place". Just the attention I got down there was amazing. At home, i felt like no one around me gave me that, going to school, where there is barley anyone there and only having a few close friends, it was very satisfying getting that attention down there. Even the athletes across the world showed me respect and i appreciated that. just because of something I did, and it felt good. when i came back, it just went back to normal. The more and more I think about it as months have now passed. It’s still the same. I don’t really get anything for the things I’ve done. Or people act like they don’t acknowledge me at times. I try hard every day not only for them, but for myself. I feel like nothing is enough. but when I won that medal, everyone treated me like I was something, just for having gold around my neck. who knew one think could change everything, compared to a million things I feel is not satisfaction back home? don’t get me wrong I love my life as much as I can, but sometimes these sort of boundaries gets in the way of loving it. It makes me want to live what I had in Wisconsin every day. and that’s when people actually acknowledge my accomplishment’s.

sincerely yours...